I go to the butchers the other day,

and I say to the butcher, "Hi there, I'm looking for Dan. He told me he works for you." The butcher says, "Not any more he doesn't. I fired him yesterday." "You fired him? What for?" "I caught him round back with his dick in the bacon slicer." "He had his dick inside the bacon slicer?" "Yeah. I fired her too, the dirty bitch."